Wednesday, December 15, 2010


I had an agenda for the day today: workout at the club and run an errand to Target and Home Depot. MJ had an agenda, too: just be and see what the day brings. Then choose what I want to do with it.

The morning started out with MJ wanting to be with mommy constantly (to the point it was difficult for Maaike to get ready for work). I got focused right away on trying to help Maaike leave on time and then it was dishes and then moving some things around in the kitchen. It was 8 am by the time I finally ate - way too late for me and so at this point I was hungry and agitated. What happened is that I got caught up in "doing" rather than "being." I did not take care of myself with respect to the little things (i.e., eating breakfast). So when it came to doing something for myself specific for myself, I thought I had to "make" getting to the club happen, "for me". I forced it and we were rushed, I was tense...and at two different times MJ asked, "Why are you frustrated, daddy?"

When I refuse to accept what is happening I miss out on whatever it is that life is offering AND I sacrifice my freedom of choice and submit myself instead to the demands of my agenda.

How many times throughout my day do I do this? Have my set agenda in mind and then react poorly when my agenda does not match up with reality? What if, when I come upon an unexpected turn of events, I were to pause for a moment to see what life is bringing me instead of thoughtlessly fighting for MY agenda?

How much more connected will I be with my wife, my children and anyone else with whom I get to interact? How much lighter will I feel? What other possibilities will I uncover? I don't know the answers, but I just got myself excited about doing some research to find them!

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